Celebrating the New Year

Salutations, 

So, did you have fun celebrating the New Year? Countdown to midnight and all that, yes? 

Good time? 

I hope it was worth being a poser for. What were you, a so-called metalhead, doing celebrating the New Year? Hoping to score some drunken she-maw were you? 

Fuck you.

2012 will almost certainly be a terrible year for Heavy Metal. And you celebrated its arrival, and all that it will bring. Let's look at the damage 2012 has already managed to cause after just 9 days:

 1) Tony Iommi has cancer. 

Maybe I should just stop here. That alone makes 2012 potentially the worst year ever for Heavy Metal. Everything after this is really just a rubbishy side note, but nevertheless:

2)  Iron Maiden have pissed me off.

3) Van Halen will be touring. Given the popularity of neo-Thrash, I wouldn't be surprised if this gave birth to Neo-Glam, or possibly, if we're really unlucky, Glamcore. 

4) A bunch of shit bands will release shit music, further dragging the good name of Heavy Metal through the Mud(core). I've already heard that Killswitch Engage will have a new atrocity out this year…

All in all, it looks like more steaming, hot, fresh turd will be pinched out onto the face of true, righteous Heavy Metal over the course of this year. While Metal Hammer and Kerrang will continue to rave about empty headed, neck tattoed embarrassments, actual decent bands will continue to be completely unheard of. And if that keeps you and your karate kid moshing, fluorescent t-shirts, hair straighteners and gauges away from them, that's fine by me. We really should think of some way to keep all that crap contained in one place, to contain it ... some sort of event that will lure them all, like flies to shit…

Yes, 2012 will be another disastrous year for the greatest musical genre of all time. Possibly the worst yet. But who knows? Maybe this could be the year the -core assault finally loses momentum.
 I can dream, can't I? 

D.